Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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