I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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