I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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