I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
