she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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