oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
