You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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