u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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