We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
