We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize