You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
