Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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