Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
