lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
