Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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