It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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