THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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