As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
