That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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