Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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