Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize