lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
