Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
