Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
