CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You need Xanax blowdarts
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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