but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ketchup is God's man juice
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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