She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
