he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
