was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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