I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
