thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
