i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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