just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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