HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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