She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
