I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
it hurts more in the daytime
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
