so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
