Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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