Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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