I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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