it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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