I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
