I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
