Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
this will be a night to untag.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bring me that man meat
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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