420 ftw
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
