remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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