i think i have two assholes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
