STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
