should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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