we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
