Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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