I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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