Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
