singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
