If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
